223 Education is primarily a personal matter

[jayeeta]

Any constructive criticism is welcomed.

223. Education is primarily a personal matter; it has little to do with school or college.

The speaker asserts that school or college has very little to do with one's educational growth, rather it is mainly one's personal matter. I agree with the speaker insofar as it is very true that ultimately what matters is the proper education and success in one's life irrespective of his institutional background. However, in my view a prime institution plays a vital role in modeling one's academic soundness.

First of all we need to consider that, how much education is one's personal matter. I think at an early stage of life when any child starts questioning about everything around him, and learns each an every bits and pieces of world in time, then there is hardly any difference in intelligence among different children. Then it is parent’s responsibility to support them in their quest for knowledge and thus any child becomes below average, average or above average. Then institution comes to play its role, which can again nurture their thirst for being educated.

It has been found that students from not well known institutions also come up with a great shine in their life. It then becomes particularly their interest. Generally the students in any average institutions are not that much competitive in mind and when any prosperous student comes into that institution then the teachers become over enthusiastic about that particular student, and help him doing much better in academically. And ultimately it all boils down to one's personal achievements, instinct and living a meaningful life, no matter from where he came from. Society welcomes people with intelligence, wit and personality same way it does so for any others coming out of any prestigious institution.

My personal experience tells me that, it really matters which institution you belong to. I came across one of my friends as he was an intelligent guy from a local school always suffered from inferiority complex. Though he became well established in future but he always felt that his class mates in undergraduates are more prompt and aware than him and it made him feel less confident. I think what is important is a very good competition. Healthy competition leads to a great confident which again gives the key to success.

In sum, I agree that student's forte is all that matters, however prime institutions also help students to instill some eternal qualities into them. Again it is to be noted that entering into a reputed institution does not imply that the particular student is going to excel in life no matter how he spends his student life. On balance, a moderately good institution along with students’ willingness and tenacity to learn more and more gives a perfect blend to acquire good education.


--- Thank you very much

[robs]

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hi jayeeta
your essay is full of gramatic mistakes and bad sentence formation. Your sentences are also not well structured. You should also give more appropriate examples.
This essay would most probably fetch 3.0

do not mind the criticism it is for your own good. I have pointed some mistakes in your essay ,read through them



223. Education is primarily a personal matter; it has little to do with school or college.

The speaker asserts that school or college (NO NEED TO MENTION SCHOOL OR COLLEGE)has very little to do with one's educational growth, rather it is mainly one's personal matter. I agree with the speaker insofar as it is very true that ultimately what matters is the(NO NEED OF THE) proper education and (FINDING)success in one's life irrespective of his institutional background. However, in my view a prime institution plays a vital role in modeling one's academic soundness.

First of all we need to consider that, how much(TO WHAT EXTENT) education is one's personal matter. I think at an early stage of life when any(A) child starts questioning about everything(THINGS) around him, and learns (each an every)(IN) bits and pieces of(ABOUT THE) world in(AT A) time, then there is hardly any difference in intelligence among different children. Then it is (THE)parent’s responsibility to support them in their quest for knowledge and (IT IS HERE THAT) any child becomes below average, average or above average. IT IS HERE THAT institution comes to play THEIR role, which can again nurture THE CHILD'S thirst for being educated.

It has been found that students from not well known institutions also come up with a great shine in their life(YOUR IS MEANING IS NOT AT ALL CLEAR). It then becomes particularly their interest. Generally the students in any average institutions are not that much competitive in mind and when any prosperous student(IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE EXAMPLE) comes into that institution then the teachers become over enthusiastic about that particular student, and help him doing much better in academically. And ultimately it all boils down to one's personal achievements, instinct and living a meaningful life, no matter from where he came from. Society welcomes people with intelligence, wit and personality same way it does so for any others coming out of any prestigious institution.

My personal experience tells me that, it really matters which institution you belong to. I came across one of my friends as he was an intelligent guy from a local school(AND HE)always suffered from inferiority complex. Though he became well established in future but he always felt that his class mates in (THE)undergraduates are more prompt and aware than him and it made him feel less confident. I think what is important is a very good competition. Healthy competition leads to a great confident which again gives the key to success.

In sum, I agree that student's forte is all that matters, however prime institutions also help students to instill some eternal qualities into them. Again it is to be noted that entering into a reputed institution does not imply that the particular student is going to excel in life no matter how he spends his student life. On balance, a moderately good institution along with students’ willingness and tenacity to learn more and more gives a perfect blend to acquire good education.

[jayeeta]

Thank you robs. I know I am not good at writing. Thank you for your clarification.

[robs]

hi
you may not be very good at writing but you are not very bad either and you can easily improve so don't worry and just brush up your grammer a bit.

best of luck and take care
rohit

[vikramsl]

Hi jayeeta & robs ...

I read ur essay . Ur essay lacks apposite examples which substanciate ur claim ..
otherwise it is ok ..

[Dmitri]

223. Education is primarily a personal matter; it has little to do with school or college.

Some people consider education primarily a personal matter. I would argue that while personal desire to study is necessary to succeed in acquiring new knowledge school or college plays a significant role in education as well.

First, it goes without saying that quality of education one wants to receive is determined not only by the rank of school he or she attends but also one’s endeavor and pursuit of acquiring new knowledge. Even if parents decide to send their child to prestigious, high reputable school it may be difficult to force a child to study if he/she is not willing to do that. On the other hand, hankering after knowledge can overcome many hassles a person could face on his/her way to education. For instance, one of the greatest Russian scientists of the past is Mikhail Lomonosov who had no right to study in school because people who did not belong to the nobility could not attend schools or universities in eighteenth century. But his eagerness to study was so strong that he left his father’s house(against his father’s wish) with solely desire to learn and study. He met with a lot of difficulties on his way but eventually became a famous scientist and public figure and made conspicuous contribution to the development of science.

However, we should not underestimate the importance of school or college because it is more than just institution where students are expected to cram for tests and quizzes. Good school, particularly enthusiastic faculty devoted to his/her subject, can inspire students to learn and inure them to think independently. I remember a real story about an English boy, broadcasted over BBC, who did not make progress in high school and whose bad behavior was the reason of constant detentions and meetings of a head master of that school with his parents. When that boy was asked why he shows so poor diligence he answered that it was too boring there in school. The situation has totally changed when his parents made a decision to transfer their boy to other school, rather prestigious and famous for its high educational standards. It turned out, that a boy is very good at foreign languages and his grades on other subjects also improved significantly.

In conclusion, I hope that I have shown while personal determination and desire are necessary in educational process it does not boil down to merely a personal matter. Educational institution, school or college, cannot be overlooked and those who concern about their education and education of their children should devote close attention to that.

[Dmitri]

Please critique my essay!!! What score would you give for my essay response?

[ss6872]

You have given a good example in the first paragraph and brought out a couple of good points.
However , i believe that inorder to make your essay more persuasive, you do need to bring out and elaborate atleast a couple more points and examples.
I feel that your essay is a little too succinct for AWA standards, inorder to make it more appealing and convincing you might want to add atleast one more paragraph.
For example you can talk about such things, as how school system can discipline a child apart from imparting academic education, how cooperative and interactive studying can improve one's cognitive skills, how the name of a good school or college is so important when seeking employment etc.

[Vinay]

Hi Jayeeta,

I think you are trying to write a lot of matter at once and this is causing organisation problem.
I suggest you break your sentences to make them short and improve readability (especially 2nd & 3rd para).
Your concepts are good but everythin is looking cluttered.

And I am sure when u cut short your sentences your grammatical mistakes will automatically get reduced.

All the best...

Vinay

[ishwarya001]

Hi
I can give example of Mahatma Gandhi who worked for the freedom of India in 19 th century, did Law graduation from London University.
Because of learning , he came to know the law and also he was so matured and came back to India and started his work for freedom and gathered
people and finally because of determination , dedication and struggle led to the freedom of India .

Here we have to consider a few things that he went to England for studies , that is because of his personal interest . And he learned
Law from the school. He worked for India 's freedom. I accept that education is a personal matter and it will make the person more matured
and also helps for the advanced technology and will be benificial for the society.

If a scholar become famous it will get fame to the Institution or school. Thus a school gets reputation by scholars. At the same time
a person also gets good reputation with the school standards. For example Harvard University is a world famous Univeristy because of the
educational standards. So students get educated from high standard schools can be benifitted by getting good jobs. Schools or educational
institutions get fame by the scholars come from the school or educational institution.

I accept that education is a personal interest and it will give fame to that school or educational institution.And both can be benifitted mutually
Ish